Last week my parents drove me to my therapy session.  As I was having my session, Jade asked if it would be ok if my parents came in.  I said it was ok and they came into the room.  They sat on the counch and proceeded to talk.  At one point Jade asked if my parents had any inclination of the abuse.  My father said that he should have thought something was up when he saw my brother and a neighbor girl abusing each other.  This totally thru me into a flashback and needless to say, I don't remember much of the conversation after that.  I dealt with the flashback for days and finally asked my Bishop if he would help me process my flashback.  I gave him the details and he was alarmed at best.  He asked if I had discussed this with the prior Bishop.  Not in full detail.  I once again felt very dirty and unworthy.  I asked the Bishop if he felt I was worthy and he said he needed to know more information.  I wasn't sure of my worthiness and the Bishop wasn't sure of my worthiness that I chose not to partake of the Sacrament.  This was one of the hardest things I could do.  I wanted the Savior's spirit to be with me.  I needed that.  I met with the Bishop Sunday afternoon and we talked in more detail of the abuse.  He then told me that with my testimony I could "start over".  He told me I was worthy to take the sacrament, and he told me that I needed to "let it go" and turn it over to God.  I don't know how to do this but at least I know now that it is not bad if I do hold on to it for a little bit longer.