I have to admit, I feel anxiety on a daily basis.  Today is no exception.  I avoid a lot of things, things that I don't like, things that trigger me, etc.  There are a lot of things going on in my life right now that I cannot avoid and my emotions are on overdrive.  I have a sick feeling most of the day.  Because of my addiction to perfection, if I can't do it perfectly, I just don't do it.  (yes, I know that is not the way to live!)  I stay awake nights trying to sort out the budget in my head.  I know how much my paychecks are and I know what I have to pay and then I get sick.  I constantly have butterflies in my stomach.  I don't know how I am going to manage these finances.  I am stressed that I may have to stop therapy because I no longer can afford it.  Then I sit and think, if I don't have therapy then what will my quality of life be.  I have been told that I have the skills necessary to survive, but to be honest, when you are in the heat of the battle, you are not thinking of your skills, you are thinking of a way out.  I ask myself all the time, what are my coping skills?  I become so overwhelmed that I usually just isolate and cry.  I don't sleep much, that is even with medical help.  I constantly binge eat, so yes I am gaining weight, which sucks.  My foot is finally healed enough that I can start walking again, but then my energy is gone.  I need to find the love of walking again.  I need to find a desire to live my life.  I don't know how to do this alone, even though others have told me that I can.  There is just too much going on right now.  I can't carry it anymore.