I tried blogging yesterday.  I actually started twice, but to no avail.  My thoughts are everywhere.  I know, I say that every day, so nothing new right?

I left my therapy session Saturday feeling as though I did not accomplish anything.  As we talked, I disclosed some very personal feelings, she asked me to share them in marriage therapy.  If you remember, I was dumped by another therapist because I created a "triangle" between he and myself, and my marriage.  So, I evidently, still don't know how to separate my marriage from my individual therapy.  However, the things that my individual therapist asked for me to share in marriage therapy, I am not comfortable sharing in marriage therapy.  They are still very personal.  To be honest, I left therapy and cried, I truly didn't feel like I did anything.  I couldn't do the homework assignment that she had requested.  The reason for that is because I put off my assignment for the weekend because it is pretty intense homework that I am doing in my individual therapy.  I didn't expect to go to marriage therapy on Thursday and go thru the mess of emotions that I did.

We had marriage therapy on Thursday, and as I said in a prior post, I thought it was hard.  I left that session in tears too.  One of the things that our marriage therapist said on Thursday is that she was going to put our marriage to the test.  I will be honest, I have thought of that statement several times, and I don't know if I am up for the challenge.  I am so tired.  I really have felt over the weekend that having no relationships sounds pretty good to me.  I have thought that if I could be invisible, I would.