I went thru the budget last night.  It doesn't look pretty.  Really, after I got the budget on paper, I sat and cried.  I don't know how to solve the issues.  This morning, I even tried to figure out how I could work another job to make up the difference.  The hospital works odd hours, I could work in to the night.  Then the Mom in me comes into my head.  I am already so tired after my 2nd job that I suck at homework.  My kids do a lot on their own.  I start so early in the day.  I did sleep in today.

I have heard that many times runners have bad toenails.  I didn't think anything of it.  I was planning on getting a pedicure for my Birthday next week, so I did not trim my toenails.  Needless to say, I must have jammed my toe into my shoe and my toenail broke pretty low.  It hurt all day until I could figure out what I did.  I was tired this morning, and I heard it was supposed to be cold and windy, and so I slept.  Well, guess what, it is not cold and windy yet.  The sleep was good, but when I sleep in, then the entire family sleeps as well.  My college daughter kept trying to wake me up to go with her.  I told her I was sleeping in today.  I think it made her feel bad.  I think she kind of likes to have a buddy walk her to the bus stop, and I like the time that I get to spend with her there. 

My husband went and applied for a new job.  This is a good thing.  However, he has been telling others that this week is his last week at the DI.  So, last night I got a call asking when his last day would be.  This was all news to me.  Between the kids, the homework, the housework, dinner, baths, bedtime, and the budget, I really was not in the mood to discuss his job with him last night.  This morning, I asked him when his last day was going to be at the DI.  He skirted around the subject.  He didn't get the job that he applied for yesterday, they aren't hiring right now, but he would really like that job and he knows people so they are going to try and get him on there.  That's all nice but in the meantime I am looking at a budget that is over $1,000 short for the month of October.  What do I do with that?

My Bishop really wants me to define what it is that I want from my husband.  He said it is critical that I get this done.  Everything I do right now in my life is critical.  From dealing with the health insurance, to dealing with the school fees, and the budget.  I also need to work on ME, getting ME to the point where I like being ME.  It really bothers me that right now my religion scares me.  I think it scares me because I still struggle with ME.