I have been doing an awful lot of thinking as I have been going thru this trial.  On Sunday, I had a spontaneous meeting with the Bishop.  He asked me to come over and then he asked about how I felt about his talk in Sacrament that day.  I have to admit, I listened but I think I dissociated a lot because I shut down.  There was too much going on with Terri and with my parents that I could hardly concentrate on anything else.  As we visited, I advised the Bishop that I truly believe that I was to go thru this trial to learn.  I feel I am to learn more about me, that I truly am a Daughter of God, and I also feel I am to learn more about the atonement.  As we talked I asked some questions about my medication because he is a therapist by trade.  Sometimes anti-depressants can cause someone to feel kind of flat, or not have any emotion.  That is how my medicine has made me feel, and it makes it truly difficult to feel the Spirit.  As I talked with the Bishop, I found that I needed to learn to feel the spirit in a different way, different from what I have had since being baptized at the age of 8.  The spirit did touch me that day with a feeling of peace.  It was almost a burning in my stomach, not my heart.  It filled me with love and understanding that I am doing what my Heavenly Father wants me to do, even though it is hard, and even though I don't understand.  I have to have Faith that he knows me better than I know myself.