I am not going to lie but therapy has been rough for me, or maybe it's life that has been rough.  My husband has his job for 3 more weeks.  This is a hard thing for me to swallow.  I have worked full time for 23 years.  There were times where I have had 2 and 3 jobs.  Yes, I am struggling with feelings of worth right now.  Feelings of "if my husband loved me, he would get a job."  Feelings of "why am I not worth providing for."  Yes, I know I am not supposed to put my worth on someone else's actions but I don't understand.  I go to the Temple and I am told to follow my husband.  I don't understand!!!

Today my therapist talked to me about Shame!  (not a discussion I like to have, and yes, he knows it. )  So, he reminded me about how at the judgement seat the Lord will tell me I can receive celestial glory and I will then proceed to tell him all of the reasons why I should not go ahead.  I didn't understand.  I went to the Temple and was reading my scriptures as I was waiting.  I came across 2 Nephi 9:18-18 But, behold, the righteous, the saints of the Holy One of Israel, they who have believed in the Holy One of Israel, they who have endured the crosses of the world, and despised the shame of it, they shall inherit the kingdom of God, which was prepared for them from the foundation of the world, and their joy shall be full forever.