I got a little burned out asking Heavenly Father my questions and then searching for the answers and so I stopped that.  I felt like I asked enough questions for the month that I didn't need any more answers.  The questions that I asked were pretty deep and I felt like he answered them as best as he could.  Now, it is my job to take that "leap of faith" as I mentioned in a prior post.  I have been so down the last couple of days.  Not sure why.  I feel like crying, and to be honest, I hope that I can go home and cry some time today just to get it out.  I was told by my boss today that I don't communicate well and that I get misunderstood a lot.  I texted Jade and told him I was just wasting his time.  Then I researched communication and becoming better at it, it mentions to go to a therapist.  Yet another reason why I am going to see Jade.  I am sad that I have bipolar and that I will have it for the rest of my life.  I am sad that my children have to see me go through it and in my heart hope that it doesn't affect their life too much.  I was supposed to meet with my psychiatrist this afternoon but had to cancel as I had already taken too much time off of work.  I sure wish I knew what my future held for me.  Although, I am feeling more confident in looking for another job, which is a plus, I guess.  I have been watching a lot of Hallmark's Christmas movies every night.  I love hanging out in my bed staying cozy under the covers.