As I said yesterday, I was triggered by a blog.  One of the comments on the blog that keeps going thru my head is when this person called our Heavenly Father the "master maniupulator".  Now, I know that doesn't come from the spirit because even the comment makes my stomach churn.  One of the other comments that this "poster" discusses is when bad things happen to good people. 

I myself have had to do an awful lot of soul searching as I will admit, I have asked "why didn't someone protect me?" when it comes to the abuse.  I have always believed in a Heavenly Father that guides my path. 

My first flashback occurred on August 29th, which happens to be the exact same day that my brother passed away 2 years prior.  As I look back, my Heavenly Father was preparing me for years to come.  I truly believe this.  In 2009, on August 26th, it was my brother's Birthday.  I had not had a whole lot to do with my brother but I had the very strong impression to call him and wish him a Happy Birthday.  (When I say I did not have a whole lot to do with my brother, I had only seen him 2 times since my sister's funeral 15 months prior!)  Again, the spirit prompted me to call my brother to wish him a Happy Birthday.  I ignored it!  For three days I had that prompting.  Even the night of my brother's passing, it was after 10:00 and I had the prompting to call my brother and wish him a Happy Birthday.  Guess what-I ignored it!  My brother died the next morning in the middle of the night.  I struggled for 2 years with the knowledge that I did not call and wish my brother a Happy Birthday, something so trivial.  What I have learned since and because of that experience.  This is just my doctrine-and this is my story and my belief-I truly believe that my Heavenly Father did not want me to live with that regret.  I think he was preparing me even before my brother passed away for all of the abuse to come out.  I think that my Heavenly Father knew that this would not be easy for me to comprehend.  As I have always said- EVERYTHING happens for a reason.  So even though I may have "changed" the plan that my Heavenly Father had for me by not calling my brother, he still loved me enough to prepare me as best as he could for this life changing experience.  He has put amazing people in my path that are helping me walk thru this trial.  They are there to strengthen me when I feel I can't go on, and they truly do carry me A LOT.