I pretty much kept my emotions in check yesterday.  I was busy at both jobs and so there was not a lot of time to think about anything else.  I did advise the Relief Society President that I would be unable to do the visiting teaching assignment that she had requested after a dear friend pointed out that I would be setting myself up for failure if I didn't meet my own expectations-which she is right because when I do my visiting teaching it is more than a monthly visit, so I told her "no" and she was awesome and understanding about it. 

However, I noticed last night, as I laid in bed that I kept my emotions in check until I actually laid down in my bed but the sad thing is that I can count on 1 hand everything I ate yesterday.  NICE!  I so know my habits, which I hate, and yes, I tend to do this.  Yesterday, after my 2nd job my blood sugar was so low, I thought I was going to pass out, even while I was working I kept wondering in my head why I didn't grab something to eat while I was home for the all of 30 minutes between jobs?  So, I am almost ready to pass out when I have to go to Target to get some things...  I get in to the store completely exhausted, my body is aching, and my blood sugar is low.  I am thinking I need to just grab anything and open it, but of course, I had my pride so I didn't, I let the cart hold me up.  I walk thru the store and grab the things that I need and then I stopped at the chocolate...  I spent $40 last night at Target and if I had to guess, $15 of it was chocolate, the rest was toilet paper and fabric softener, with a few other items in between!  Again, NICE!  I opened up the candy bar and ate it, and came home.  I got out of my sweaty clothes and fixed dinner for my family and went to work cleaning my house.  I didn't eat the dinner, only fixed it.  So, yes, of the 5 items that I ate yesterday, 1 of them was a candy bar.  Isn't that lovely?  When I was pregnant I had diabetes.  I learned all about "empty calories",  this means, no significant value to your body, no nutrition, just calories, and yes, that is what I did. 

5:45 comes awfully early in the morning when you are exhausted.  I got up and went walking, the mornings are starting to be really dark when I head out which sometimes that is a good thing, but when you are over sensitive to your surroundings, not so good.  I live in a fairly safe neighborhood, but there are a lot of apartments that I don't know who or what is living in them.  Even walking past their cars parked on the street had me a little freaked out this morning. 

I didn't do a smart thing this last month and so I frantically have to fix it before it is too late and that is I kind of let my health insurance go.  They needed some paperwork filled out, and I not being overwhelmed in the slightest ignored it.  It's not a smart thing when you have had cancer.  So, I am working two jobs, trying to manage the bills, college, back to school, and paper work.  Lots of paper work.  I am taking tomorrow off of my jobs to get the paper work done.  Hopefully by this time Saturday morning, I can say that all of the paper work is turned in.  No worries, I am sure that there will be something else in my life that I have forgotten to do.