My session with Jade did not go well yesterday.  We talked a lot about my job and how I need to stand up to my boss.  This is easier said than done.  He challenged me once again to stand up to my boss.  Once again I told him that I would see (which he takes as no!).  I really will do it when the timing is right.  We talked about my family, and then we talked a little about my patriarchal blessing.  I read my letter to my trauma that he asked me to write.  He then stated that based on my letter it sounded as though I wished my trauma never would have come out.  He also stated that there was a way that we could suppress my memories again.  We talked and he stated that no matter what the abuse would come out in a different way in my life.  So, that means that I am going to keep dealing with the emotions that I have been given because the last thing I want is for things to come out in another way.  What if I can't handle the other way?  We talked about this blog.  I mentioned to him that I had over 200 entries on this blog and that one day I was going to put it into a book for my children.  I mentioned to him that I wanted to write a letter to my kids explaining the book before I let them read it, and of course it will be when they are older.  This blog is for them, and for me.  This blog will hopefully one day become a strength to my children.  This blog has given me strength, it has helped me find a place for my emotions.