Lots of religious questions going thru my head this week regarding repentance and forgiveness.  I know that I need to repent on a daily basis.  You are told during the sacrament that you should ponder on your week and find ways that you could do better.  Last Sunday was difficult as I pondered on my week, and thought that I was not going to be alive on Sunday.  That was a hard sacrament meeting as I thought that I should be repentant for my suicidal thoughts.  I truly am sorry for my thoughts, I know that life is a precious gift and one that I cannot take away freely.  My mental illness runs away with me and the medication makes me crazy.  When my medications are being adjusted it causes more suicidal thoughts than at other times. 

I truly am blessed to have such a wonderful family that cares for me, and helps to take away the hard days and tells me that I can keep going.

I met a young man named Kai that attempted to commit suicide.  He shot himself.  The damages to his face are indescribable.  He is missing an eye, and the front of his skull because of the shot.  It's really quite sad, however, he has a very good attitude about it and is enjoying his life.  He is grateful he is alive.