So, I have survived another day.  Really, it hasn't been hard.  Last night, I picked at my chin and pulled all of the whiskers out that I possibly could.  It felt so good!!!  This is called self-injury.  I know that it is bad, and I know exactly what triggered it. 

I am scheduled to meet with Jade on Thursday at 3:30.  This is the same time that the Viewmont Sophmore football team plays their game.  Jed asked Becca to get off of work to take me to therapy so he could go and keep score for the football team.  Jed does not get paid from the Sophmore football team which caused me a lot of stress.  I would hope that my therapy is a greater priority than keeping score for a football team for free.  Becca needs to work until 4:00 and so she cannot take me.  Even today at lunch, Jed asked if Jade could change my appointment to 2:30 so he could still make it to the game.  REALLY!!!  Am I not that important?  Am I not a priority in the lives of my family?

I went to Voc Rehab and met with a case worker.  She indicated that they would pay for 20 sessions of therapy for me, this is because I still have a job.  When she asked me what my career path should be I indicated that I probably needed a lower stress job.  I advised her that I was just barely diagnosed with Bipolar 2 weeks ago and so I am still trying to deal with the emotions of that diagnosis.  She told me that I needed to work on 1 thing at a time and that I needed to get my medication levels under control before I start working on my job.  I understand exactly where she is coming from.  I do have too many things going on right now.

In my session last week we talked about my job.  Jade started pressuring me to stand up to my boss.  He then asked if I would do it.  I told him "I'll see".  He then stated that his son says whenever he or his wife say "we'll see", the answer is always no.  Well, there are still so many things that I still need to work thru with my boss but today he asked me if I was a champion?  I told him I was working on it.  He then went off on me.  So, when he stopped talking, I asked him if he thought I was a champion?  He said yes and proceeded to tell me the things that he thought I had done well.  But, of course in the next breath he advised me that I was not a champion in simple things.  OH WELL!  I tried!