Last night at NAMI we talked about anxiety disorder and also PTSD.  I am finding I still have some symptoms of PTSD.  I am on edge around men.  My husband is concerned about me and so he continues to ask how I am doing.  Sometimes it is a little much.  I know he is concerned and I appreciate him. 

I have been thinking a lot about repentance and forgiveness.  As I wrote, last week I had some suicidal thoughts.  I struggled in Sacrament meeting as I believe that I need to repent for my suicidal thoughts.  It is very hard to control my thoughts.  When the Dr's change my medications it wreaks havoc on my brain.  Last week was no exception.  The question I ask is if I repent of my suicidal thoughts and I have them again, does that mean that my first try at repentance and forgiveness are not valid?

I read that Love is a necessary precursor to forgiving ourselves.  Does that mean if I don't particularly  LOVE myself right now that I can't forgive myself?

In regards to forgiving my brother.  It still hurts and the time I have put into my healing has been hard, but it has been worth it.  I don't know when I will know if and when I have forgiven my brother for what he did.