Well, therapy day was just as hard as I predicted.  We opened up talking about General Conference, and then we got into the nitty gritty of my homework.  We talked about how the negative rules/messages have changed the way that I am and my way of thinking. 

Jade also had me watch a video on bullying.  I watched the video and we discussed my first impressions of the video.  Jade was appalled with the way the teenagers treated the girl in the video.  The sad truth is that I was treated much like that girl.  I advised Jade that it was a hard video to watch but that nothing surprised me.  Then we discussed my life growing up.  I was bullied not only at home, but also at school and church.  I never felt like I fit in with anyone.  I spent a lot of time by myself. 

I couldn't bring myself to tell Jade about a situation that I had in 7th grade.  I have been blessed with long legs, but also a short waist.  I have never been one to wear low rider pants and so my pants look like they are pulled up a little higher than the normal person.  (Now that I am older, I just leave my shirts untucked!)  But, one day in Science class, a young boy, Paul Vanleer, pulled up his pants all the way to his chest and asked the class "hey guys, guess who I am, I am Mary Troop!".  I was so humiliated.  There were times where the bus would be pulling away from the school with the kids and I would hear snide remarks coming towards me from the boys on the bus.  One in particular liked to mock me quite incessantly, Matt Clark.  I never did do anything with that group of boys but they sure liked to make fun of me.  I remember walking home from school on more than one occasion in tears because of what the boys said out the window.

Junior High was a rough time for me.  Even the girls in the Ward bullied me.  I remember finding papers that they would write back and forth to each other where they mocked how I dressed, or how I wore my hair that day, or even if I smelled funny.  It hurt my feelings.  This was normal for me.  I got to the point where I backed away from all of my friends.  Even my Ward friends, the ones that are supposed to like you for who you are, the ones that have been with you since you were 3.  None of them wanted to hang out with me.  I spent a lot of time by myself.