I was able to get an appointment with Jade, which was a miracle in and of itself.  We talked about Heavenly Father and how I feel abandoned by him, like I said in my prior post.  This was not an easy question and required a whole lot of soul searching.  Jade asked me when was the last time I felt peace.  I am going to say, that the last place I actually felt peace was in the temple.  He said it's nice to feel peace when  your home (meaning the temple!).  To be honest, I struggled with that comment, and I let him know that.  Because right now, there is not a whole lot of peace in my home.  This week he has asked me to fast and pray and ask Heavenly Father my questions.  To write them down and wait and listen to hear the response.  This should be interesting