I have still been reflecting on my homework assignment.  It has been one of the hardest assignments that I have been given.  Last night, I reflected on some of the hurtful names that I was called or I was told that I was, such as loser, loner, ugly, stupid, etc.  This form or bullying did not just come from my family but also from my friends.  It hurt to trudge up those memories.  I understand that I can't heal from them until they are out in the open.  I wrote down this list of names and then I didn't know what to do with it, so I burned it.  It felt good.  My kids wondered what I was doing.  Thankfully I did not set anything else on fire and I blew it out before I burned myself. 

I have still reflected on my relationship with Heavenly Father.  This relationship hurts the very most.  Jade and the Bishop have both said that my relationship with my Earthly Father is a mirror of my relationship with my Heavenly Father.  This makes me sad.  I have been working thru some anger, anger at my parents, my brother, myself, and Heavenly Father.  I asked the Bishop if it was OK for me to be angry with God.  He texted back something that I absolutely needed to hear "he (God)has big shoulders."  Which means to me that he can handle it.  God is aware of my emotions right now.  As I have thought about my anger, I have thought, how can I change my anger into something good?  I could become an advocate over sexual abuse.  I have thought about coming out to my friends but I am not sure the rest of my family is ready to hear the news.