I met with my EMDR therapist yesterday and advised him of the comment from my individual therapist in regards to EMDR not working with people with borderline personality.  He indicated that he questioned if EMDR was working for me.  (Hello, doesn't anyone want to clue me in, or do we just throw me under the bus and hope I come out on the other side?)  We talked more about the borderline personality diagnosis.  I understand completely that I have borderline personality traits.  I get it!  But, there are some traits of one with borderline that I don't like.  Borderlines tend to like drama and make up stories to get drama.  Personally, I hate that my life is filled with drama.  I hate that it is all around me.  So, then the question  I have in my mind is this-did I create this drama?  Did my brother repeatedly molest me, or did I make it up? 

Borderlines also struggle with relationships.  I get that I have some problems with some relationships.  The question that I have going thru my head, is how much of the crap that I am dealing with in my relationships is mine, and how much of it is theirs?  Is it all me?  The last thing that I would ever want to do is become a burden for anyone.  When you think of a burden, I think of being weighed down by something, or someone.  Everyone in this world has their own crap to deal with.  They truly don't need one more thing to weigh them down.

I have a lot of things to think about.