My thoughts are all over the place this morning.  This blog post may not make sense to anyone but me, but that is who this is for anyways so, I am just going to go for it, and let my thoughts go wherever they need to go.

This morning as I went for my walk I saw so many things.  I saw the full moon, the Bountiful Temple, Christmas lights (which actually made my heart smile.  Christmas was a rough time for me and I did not get to enjoy it like I usually do.  So, to see Christmas lights, it reminded me how far I had come, but it also helped me to think that I do still love Christmas and it is something that I can still look forward to.  Did I mention that I just went thru the motions of Christmas this last year?  See, not kidding, my head is everywhere! Maybe it's ADD.)  Anyway, back to what else I saw, I watched the Sun come up over the mountain, I felt the sun rise.  And because the sun had started to rise, I was able to see this...

One of the first signs of Spring.  Yellow Crocus buds coming up out of the ground.  A sign of a new start.  I saw many getting new roofs, a new start from the December 1st winds.  I hoped that I could soon put the December 1st winds behind me because the sooner we can get roofs on these houses, the sooner I can get out of Claims Hell!  (Yes, I have been there since December 1st, it is not pretty working in the insurance industry.  Somehow, everyone else's problems are bigger than their neighbors!)

As I walked I also thought about my night last night.  I came home from work and my body still ached from EMDR the night prior.  I honestly picked up McDonald's, took some Ibuprofen, hopped in a hot bath, and then into my jammies.  As I chatted with one of my friends she reminded me that I was in my emotional mind.  I go there often after EMDR because it uncovers so much, so much that I never felt before, that I have to go thru the emotions even though it sucks.  But, this morning, I likened my experiences to a cat.  I am like that cat, out for adventure (I don't like the adventure but just go with my thoughts).  How many times do you see a cat stuck in a tree?  If you have ever watched a cat climb a tree, they are usually very cautious in getting up that tree.  I am very cautiously watching every step that I take up my tree.  The higher you climb, the more confident you become so you climb higher.  But, then the inevitable happens... You have to come down.  Last night, I climbed my emotional tree.  To be honest, I didn't care how high I got up that tree.  But, when it came time to come down, I was terrified.  I started thinking about my past, the crap that I am going thru, the feelings that I have towards my brother, the emotions of having his son in my home, my parents, my children (do you see how high I was climbing?)  Thankfully, I have a VERY DEAR FRIEND that came to my rescue.  When no one else could get me out of that tree, she was there.  I am sure she was tired after a long day of work, exercise, etc.  But, she stayed with me until I was down.  (She would appreciate the cat analogy, she has a cat *more like her son* but still it's a cat).  I thought of so many others that have been where I am right now and GOSH, I pray that everyone has someone that can talk them down that tree like I do. 

If I had not been handed the abuse of my brother, I never would have known this friend.  I don't even know if our paths would have crossed in this life at all.  But, if you have to look at blessings from your trials, she is truly one that I am grateful she is there!