I went on my long walk to the Temple this morning.  The weather was beautiful.  I reflected on my talk last night with my friend.  This friend has been with me thru the best and the worst of things.  She is absolutely my sister.  I was blessed to work with her for many years in church callings and she is amazing and my life has been blessed to have her in it.  She and I have a deal that we will tell each other anything, even if we don't want to because our friendship-sisterhood- is that important.  Well, when I first started on this journey, I will admit, I didn't want anyone to know, even my best friend, my sister.  One night, she totally let me have it.  And you know what-I DESERVED IT!  I knew of our deal, she had to remind me, and there are times where I still isolate from her (hello, common occurence with me!)  but Thankfully, she is very forgiving.

As I went on my walk, I was thinking about my Sunday School lesson.  I watched as the sun came over the mountain.  I saw the "popcorn popping on the apricot tree", and the smells, the smell of the river running down the hill, the blossoms, the wind.  (Thankfully the wind didn't smell like the Great Salt Lake!)  But, I received a testimony that there is a Heavenly Father that created all of this.  There was no doubt.  Now, I am not saying that I gained a testimony that I am Daughter of God, I am still working on that, but he definitely created this earth. 

As I thought about my lesson 2 Nephi 31-33.  If you read only the chapter headings you won't find a whole lot of magic in the words.  I am blessed to be able to teach teenagers.  I may be a deep thinker but when it comes to reading the scriptures, I read for me.  As I keep telling these kids, there are no wrong answers in the Book of Mormon.  Each person's answer is going to be different.  If you only look at the headings of these 3 chapters you would not know that the Gospel of Jesus Christ is "it is given unto them in plainness, even as plain as word can be."  When I think of this verse, I realize that the table cloths, the centerpiece, the handouts, it is all "fluff".  If you take all of that away, the gospel is the same.  The Gospel is Simple!  We are the ones that complicate it.   The Gospel is meant to be understood by everyone, the smart, knowledgeable, and the 'less' smart ones (me!).  As I thought more on the plainness of the Gospel, I was reminded of the 13 Articles of Faith-Simple, simple to understand, not to memorize but simple to understand. 

Now, one other thing I thought about was this verse 2 Nephi 31:20 Wherefore, ye must press forward with a steadfastness in Christ, having a perfect brightness of hope, and a  love of God and of all men. Wherefore, if ye shall press forward, feasting upon the word of Christ, and endure to the end, behold, thus saith the Father: Ye shall have eternal life.

Those who know of my identity, know that I truly do love the Gospel of Jesus Christ.  It is simple even for one like me.  The spirit has borne witness to me of its truthfulness.  As I wrote in a prior post, before I was reminded of the trial of my abuse, I thought that I was strong in the Gospel.  I knew where I stood when it comes to my faith.  I have said that a couple of times and I joke because I knew that if the Lord would have called to me to walk on water and come to him, I would have gotten out of the boat, but my knowledge was that I would have sunk but Christ would have saved me before I drowned.  My friend and I laugh because her comment was "at least you would have gotten out of the boat".  To me, that was "enough".  My faith was good "enough",  & strong "enough".  I thought about the above scripture and the hymn that goes with it "Press forward Saints with a STEADFAST FAITH in Christ."  I learned on my walk today that my faith was not "enough".  It still isn't.  I thought how could my faith, one who was so sure, not be enough.  I don't want to be arrogant, but there are many that die with the faith that I had, and it was enough.  Why wasn't it enough for me? 

As I questioned that in my mind I stopped and looked into the hills above the Temple.  There in my plain sight were 5 of the most amazing creatures I have ever seen.  5 deer, looking straight at me.  You may think that "hello, you were in the mountains, there are deer all over".  I on the other hand have walked that trail every week for months, my friends have even commented that they have not seen many deer in the area.  But, those deer were a tender mercy for me.  Those deer were close enough that I could see their eyes.  Those deer were a testimony to me that yes, Heavenly Father did create this Earth, and that he is truly the God over the Heavens and the Earth.  I stood and watched those deer, they knew I was there, we watched each other, and then I was able to watch them run into the trees.  Watching deer run is breathtaking for me. 

If you learn nothing else from me and from my experiences I want you to know one thing.  Wherever you stand with your faith, please know that it is not "enough".  I tell you this because I truly did believe that my faith was "enough".  But, what happened was the Earth (my foundation) started to shake.  I got scared, I still am scared, but I was shaken.  That is actually what scares me the most, is that I of all people was shaken.  I let go of the iron rod.  I tell you because if I can be shaken, then so can you.  I know that the day is coming when Christ will come again.  I know!  Satan knows.  Satan knows that his time is drawing to a close, when he will lose his power, and so the shaking is just going to become harder, it is going to be scary.  Please find someone that gives you strength.  Find someone that can help you hold on, when you can't, but strengthen yourself, strengthen your family.  Again, if my faith was not enough then I promise, neither is yours!  We are in enemy territory.  We have been told this by the Prophet, and many prophets before.  We cannot take this warning lightly.  I did, because I was so sure I knew where I stood.  Please dig in your heels.  Remember the Gospel is plain, it is simple, so that all of us can understand it.