I relived the final aspect of my flashback pretty much all day.  I was nauseous all day.  I could hardly eat, because I really did think I would throw up.  I had group therapy last night, honestly, the last thing I wanted to do.  What I really wanted to do was to go home, sit in a hot tub, and then go to bed.  But, I went to therapy.  We started with process group.  It was not a pretty topic for me.  I tried to tune it out as best as I could.  All of my stress went to my muscles.  I am not kidding, by the time I left my body hurt so bad.  As soon as I got home, I put on my pajamas, medicated myself, and went to bed.  I cried myself to sleep, because I stil can't believe that all of this is happening to me.  I know that there are others out there that have problems greater than my own, but I don't know how to get thru this. 

The finalizing of this flashback totally makes me want to shred my temple recommend and to never have one again.  No wonder I have never felt worthy, because I wasn't.  How could I have ever been?  How could my brother?  I'm here to tell you, I wish we had just played Dr. 

As soon as I walked in the door, my husband advised me that my Mom had called.  Guess what, that phone call was never returned (oops!).  I didn't care.