I'm not sure I can do this today.  My emotions are everywhere.  I have been sick to my stomach for days.  My daughter even told me I had bags under my eyes last night.  I have cried so much this week.  My thoughts are everywhere.  I have had this recurring flashback for a week and a half now.  In talking with a very good friend, she has advised me that I need to process this.  Remember, I said that I didn't want anyone to know about this flashback?  Well, I can't carry this by myself anymore.  It's also not something you share with everyone.  And, I hope that I only need to share this with a few people.

I have always acknowledged that the Lord guides my life on a daily basis.  I am fully aware of his hand in my life.  This last week, is no exception.  Today is my last session with LDS Family Services.  In my last session, my therapist asked what I wanted my last session to be like.  I did not know.  After this last week with this flashback, the last thing I wanted it to be about was this. 

So, how can I say that the Lord has guided me to this point?  Well, I started with this flashback weeks ago.  I really did think I had processed this with both my LDS family services therapist and my EMDR therapist.  This flashback is also the exact one that I bent my ring on.  I have actually looked at my misshapen ring a lot this week, as I have tried to understand why this didn't all come out earlier.  I either fought it, or I wasn't ready, I am thinking, and some may not agree, but I think I wasn't ready.  This explains so much about me.